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America's
Wacky Laws & Regulations
Antiquated
laws and obsolete regulations, though mostly not
enforced, remain on the books in every state in the union.
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In Rhode
Island it is illegal to use the adjectives "small," "tiny,"
"teensie-weenie," "runt," "dwarf," "midget"
or "shrimpy" when referring to the state, its government or its
political leaders.
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| In Oregon people are required to
remove their socks before entering the Pacific Ocean.
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| In Brooklyn, New York, parents can
be fined if they neglect to teach their children the borough’s
characteristic colorful expletives or the proper insertion of the word
“Yo” before all sentences by the time they enter the public-school
system.
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| Golfing with chicken heads
is illegal in 17 states, frowned upon in 32 and heavily taxed in Florida
and the District of Columbia.
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Renderings
or images of the human navel, big toe or either nostril cannot be used in
classrooms without the supervision of either the local constable or a leading
religious authority in North Quiverburgh, Kentucky.
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| In Wyoming, automatic-weapon
purchases are tax deductible, but there is a 10-percent sales-tax
surcharge on shooting-range targets with a likeness of Bill Clinton; 20
percent for Hillary.
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| In Clandestine, Missouri, on Palm
Sunday it
is illegal to sing or hum songs containing any reference to being homesick
for Moravia.
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| The words “monkey” or
“ape” cannot be used within two minutes of the word “human” within
100 yards of any school in Cranium County, Kansas.
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It is required
by Texas state law to use one or more of the adjectives, “big,”
“humungous,” “large,” “giant,” “bigger,” “biggest
goddamn” or “tall,” when referring to the state, its government or
its political leaders.
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