Heisenberg's Fun House
                                                                                               2004
                                                                                               www. uncertaintypark.com  



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 America's Wacky Laws & Regulations   

  Antiquated laws and obsolete regulations, though mostly not
enforced, remain on the books in every state in the union.  

 

In Rhode Island it is illegal to use the adjectives "small," "tiny," "teensie-weenie," "runt," "dwarf," "midget" or "shrimpy" when referring to the state, its government or its political leaders.

In Oregon people are required to remove their socks before entering the Pacific Ocean. 

In Brooklyn, New York, parents can be fined if they neglect to teach their children the borough’s characteristic colorful expletives or the proper insertion of the word “Yo” before all sentences by the time they enter the public-school system.

Golfing with chicken heads is illegal in 17 states, frowned upon in 32 and heavily taxed in Florida and the District of Columbia.

Renderings or images of the human navel, big toe or either nostril cannot be used in classrooms without the supervision of either the local constable or a leading religious authority in North Quiverburgh, Kentucky.

In Wyoming, automatic-weapon purchases are tax deductible, but there is a 10-percent sales-tax surcharge on shooting-range targets with a likeness of Bill Clinton; 20 percent for Hillary.

In Clandestine, Missouri, on Palm Sunday it is illegal to sing or hum songs containing any reference to being homesick for Moravia.

The words “monkey” or “ape” cannot be used within two minutes of the word “human” within 100 yards of any school in Cranium County, Kansas.

It is required by Texas state law to use one or more of the adjectives, “big,” “humungous,” “large,” “giant,” “bigger,” “biggest goddamn” or “tall,” when referring to the state, its government or its political leaders.

 

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Site copyright including the name Heisenberg's Fun House, graphics, and web design are all © 2004 Heisenberg's Fun House. Individual articles copyright to their authors. All rights reserved. The content of this Web site -- graphics, text and other elements -- may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. This site includes satire and surrealism and uses invented names in its articles and stories, except in cases where public figures, public images, trade or brand names are being used for satiric or artistic purposes.  Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.