Heisenberg's Fun House - Groundhog Day TV Specials

Heisenberg's Fun House
2004
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Arts & Entertainment/Television

Groundhog Day Television Programs & Specials

Primetime Television for February 2, 2002 (Eastern Standard Time)

	8 P.M.	8:30 P.M.	9 P.M.	9:30 P.M.	10 P.M.	10:30 P.M.
CBS	60 Minutes II Focus on role of covert CIA moles in the War Against Terrorism.		All-Star Groundhog Day Salute to Punxsutawney Phil Muhammad Ali, Britney Spears, Will Smith, Jewel, Tony Bennett, Mariah Carey, Jim Carrey, Drew Carey, Ferret Fawcett, Bill Murray, Cher, Al Roker, Billy Crystal, Emmitt Otter, Minnie Mouse, Dana Carvey, Richard Gere, Chris Elliot, Pixie & Dixie, Stuart Little, Andie McDowell, former Pres. Bill Clinton and a requisite FDNY rep honor the weather icon everybody loves.
NBC	Ed A co-dependent, transsexual marmot begins spending time with a teen prairie dog under the bowling alley. Special appearance by Punxsutawney Phil.	Will & Grace Grace botches Groundhog Day dinner while Jack tries to prove Will's new hamster is a flamer.	The West Wing A weasel terror attack on the White House Lawn interrupts the executive groundhog staff's cloying liberal banter and clever repartee as it prepares the burrow president's State of the Hutch address.		Law & Order A man caring for a dying daughter is suspected of murder after detectives discover she had forgotten his birthday because it fell on Groundhog Day. (Rerun)
ABC	You're a Sniveling, Burrowing Ground Rodent, Charlie Brown Punxsutawney Phil teams up with Snoopy to help Charlie Brown get final vengeance on Lucy.	Dharma & Greg Dharma upsets Greg when she brings home a hungry, wounded weasel and insists on carrying it everywhere in a wild and off-beat shoulder bag.	Spin City Mayor Winston creates controversy when he uses a Groundhog Day speech to launch a citywide rat-extermination campaign.	The Drew Carey Show Mr. Wick's mother tries to charm Drew with homemade groundhog stew	Winter Olympics Preview Marsupials on Ice -- A look at the Australian rodent skaters headed to the 2002 Winter Olympics Hosted by Scott Hamilton & Christy Yamgochi
Fox	Simpsons After Homer captures Punxsutawney Phil at the nuclear plant they team up for Homer's weather- prediction gambling scam at Moe's Bar. Phil is special guest voice.	Ground Hog for Life Walt begins spending time with a girl who turns out to be a real shrew.	Malcolm in the Middle Malcolm and Dewey watch in horror as Reese skins and eats a live woodchuck on a dare.	Titus Titus notes the irony when he counsels his niece on death of her gerbil, then goes rat hunting with his dad.	X-Files Scully looks for clues to solve gristly cult murders where all the victims have been gnawed to death and all bear the number 02/02/02 scratched into their foreheads.
UPN	Enterprise Capt. Archer faces a dilemma when an unidentified incisor-shaped vessel gnaws into the hull of the unprepared Enterprise and discharges its crew of cute, gerbil-like girl aliens. (Rerun)		Special Unit 2 A giant, mutant sewer-rat man called the "Toilet Terrorizer" spreads fear in Chicago restrooms. (Rerun)		WBF Super Smackdown World Burrowing Federation extreme grudge match pits The Incisor and The Undertaker against The Molester and Iron Ferret for world pumpkin-patch championship.
WB	Dawson's Creek Joey reveals her wild side involves gnawing and burrowing with small, furry mammals.		Punxatawney Days Mysterious events and beings like groundhog meteorologists are common in the town of Punxsutawney Pennsylvania.		Gopher Girlfriends Joan and Toni's he-rodent hunting expedition to a trendy singles hutch leads to Joan's obsession with a handsome Punxsutawney Phil imitator who is actually a predator. Special guest star: Jaime Fox.

PBS

Burrowing to Hope -- The Underground Railroad
Ken Burns' in-depth 300-hour documentary of burrowing mammals and the flight to freedom. (part 1 of 150)

Benny Molehill
British slapstick comedy.

As Long as It's British Cinema
(TBA) Classic underground feature films from the U.K..

CABLE

	8 P.M.	8:30 P.M.	9 P.M.	9:30 P.M.	10 P.M.		10:30 P.M.
CNN	War Against Terror --America Burrowing: Is Osama Dead & Eaten? Wolf Blitzer visits the caves of Tora Bora, Afghanistan, to investigate claims by locals that terror-master Osama bin Laden may have been killed and eaten by shrews he had tried to recruit as replacement al-Qaeda soldiers. Blitzer interviews locals who have discovered hundreds of shrews in the area who have apparently died of food poisoning.				Lou Dobbs Moneyline Financial news. Coverage of the underground economy. Lou interviews corporate rat, former Enron chief Kenneth L. Lay.
CSPAN	House of Representatives House Furry Relations Global Environment Subcommittee hearings on international soil conservation.		Washington Journal Punxsutawney Phil hosts discussion of burrowing, caves and high-security lifestyles with mammalian experts. Special guest: Vice Pres. Dick Cheney.		House of Representatives Full House vote on the Root, Tuber and Green Space Expansion Subsidies bill (HR020202).
Animal Planet	Under Africa The Hidden Battle -- Groundhogs and naked mole rats filmed for the first time in their epic struggle for underground dominance. Narrated by Peter Graves	The Crocodile Hunter -- Close-Call Clips Steve takes on more than he can handle when he acquires severe facial injuries after flushing a family of Outback prairie dogs from their hole. (Rerun)	The Jeff Corwin Experience Jeff yanks enraged Tasmanian ferrets out of their burrows and holds them up to the camera.	National Geographic -- Thunder Hogs of the Mesozoic Recently discovered fossils tell story of long- extinct, 450- pound, saber- toothed groundhog raptors. (Rerun)	Some Would Call Them Rats The amazing and tender world of Northern California's endangered psychic sea ferrets. Narrated by Ed Begley, Jr. (Rerun)
TBS	Groundhog Day Bill Murray; Andie McDowell; Chris Elliot (Rerun)			Groundhog Day Bill Murray; Andie McDowell; Chris Elliot (Rerun)
History	Underworld at War Days of Dirt: The Battle of the Burrow. One of the filthiest battles of WW2. (Part 9 of 10)	Fighting Rodents of the Pacific Individual stories of island-burrowing mammals in WW2 who fought with the allies against the Japanese. Narrated by Peter Coyote. (Rerun)	The French Underground Four-part documentary tells the story of the Free-Ferret resistance in occupied France 1942-45. Narrated by Bridget Bardot. (Part 1) (Rerun)			The Desert Rats - The Real Story Documentary. A band of renegade American rodent soldiers and their personal war against Rommel's Nazi rats during the Allies' Northern Africa campaign.
TV Land	A Very Brady Groundhog Day Special Bobby gets even with Cindy when he is grounded after she tattles on him for molesting Jan's pet gerbil. Alice goes on strike after complaining the whole family treats her like a "gofer." Mike admits to Carol he likes ferrets better than pussies. (Rerun)		Gilligan's Island Hilarious hi-jinx occur when the skipper orders Gilligan to trap and skin 100 groundhogs to make Ginger a new fur coat for her surprise birthday party. Special guest castaway: a very young Punxsutawney Phil. (Parts 1 & 2)		Green Acres Jealous of Mrs. Ziffel's new pet marmot, Arnold arranges a hit by an unsavory Hootersville underworld figure.		Beverly Hillbillies Mrs. Drysdale is aghast when Granny serves squirrel stew during a barbeque next to the cement pond.
HBO	Sex and the Burrow Carrie becomes depressed about her life after Miranda tells her all female moles are genetically programmed to be capable of nothing more than feeding, breeding, burrowing and keeping the hutch clean.		The Sopranos Tony tells Dr. Malfi about his latest bout with panic attacks after he whacks a groundhog with his lawn mower.		Six Feet Under Dysfunctional family of moles struggle to overcome their self-destructive tendencies when they face a grave threat to their Forest Lawn burrow.

Nick at Night	Leave It to Beaver Ground Hog Week Marathon
SciFi	Otter Limits An ordinary otter is offered immortality when a cyborg ferret soldier from a parallel universe materializes on his sunning rock. Special guest: Emmitt Otter. (Rerun)	Battle Beneath the Planet of the Apes The surface-dwelling apes stage a massive attack on ground-dwelling moles in the ultimate battle for domination of the lawns of post-apocalyptic suburbia. (Rerun)
ESPN	PGA Tournament Lowlights	The World's Top 10 Greens. A ground-level tour of the world's finest golf-course greens. Narrated by Graham Greene.	ESPN Special Report--Astroturf: Threat or Menace?	Caddie Shack Starring: Freddie Gopher, Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield.

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