Heisenberg's Fun House
                                                                                               2004
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HFH First-Anniversary Special

Ten Fun Ways to Celebrate Groundhog Day

February 2, 2001

The 2nd of February. Wow.  Ever wonder what makes it so special?  Dare to imagine a world where the groundhog doesn't take the center stage in our lives on this most special of days.  Now wouldn't Feb. 2 be just a little less amazing?  


Marmota monax: Uncanny meteorologist,
fuzzy prevaricator or furry pretender?

1.  Make an egg salad casserole shaped like a groundhog.

2.  Boil a ground hog and serve it with cabbage.

3.  Don’t just buy his line.  Confront the groundhog with the paradox of its methodology:  “Let me see if I get this – so you’re saying, if it's a nice, bright sunny day, and you see your shadow, it means we have six more weeks of winter weather coming?  Would you explain that once more please?”

4.  Get a groundhog drunk and make it dance till it pukes.

5.  Play a game of "see your shadow" with a loved one. Requires a comfortable underground burrow.

6.  Require the groundhog to explain exactly why it thinks the difference between it and a naked mole rat is a meaningful one, rather than mere nuance.

7.  Take a groundhog out to 'Vegas and lay some heavy weather bets.

8.  Dress a groundhog in lingerie.

9.  Invite a groundhog out to an elegant seven-course meal at a fine French bistro and then stiff it for the bill.

10. Take the groundhog out to see the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day again and again.

 

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