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A periodic exploration of the somewhat undefined conceptual space created between Danny Thomas and Man Ray by Richard Holland
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Continuing Adventures of Randy Kamoo– Episode
1 – The Fortress of Solitude Randy
Kamoo walks down a silent street of well appointed and newly constructed
colonial style homes. He wears the
obligatory corduroy jacket with fake leather elbow pads in a shade that is
neither gold nor green, but rather faintly resembles each. He
holds a weather-beaten leather satchel in hand, overstuffed with papers half
spilling out. He stops at a large white center entrance colonial with
closed garage doors. He
rings the doorbell. From
behind the door: “Who is
it?” Randy:
“Hello, Randy Kamoo, door-to-door philosopher” From
behind the door: “What do you
want?” Randy:
“Now we get to core of the inquiry – what do I want? … for
that matter, what do we all want?… which implies the question – What is our
purpose? … That is the fundamental question for all of us, is it not?” From
behind the door: “I mean,
what are you selling?”
Randy:
“In short, an opportunity to focus on your vague station in this
uncertain universe, to challenge yourself to ask the really difficult
fundamental questions that we rarely attend to between mocha frappachinos and
trips to the mall.” From
behind the door: “What?” Randy:
“Madam, what would it take to put
you into an existential dilemma today, right now? From
behind the door: “Go away. I don’t understand what it is you are trying
to sell and I am not interested.” Randy:
“But can’t you see that your answer is an illusion, being in fact a
disguised expression of an either – or proposition, for if you understood fully my purpose you may in fact be interested. And leaving, or “going
away,” as you term it, is an illusion of itself, as if there were a stationary
point of reference, whereas we know that everything is in motion relative to
each other. Try to think of me as leaving at this moment, but traveling in the
same direction and speed as your house.” From
behind the door: Silence Randy:
Ah, but shouldn’t I ask or inquire as to who you are, for I at this
point have no evidence of your existence other than a voice, which could easily
emanate from a recorded device or machine of some kind. For all I know, this
house is, and has been empty for years, and the voice I hear is the last
practical joke of an existential clown. From
behind the door: Silence Randy:
Okay, then let me ask you this -- how
soon do you plan to make a decision on adopting logical positivism? From
behind the door: Silence, but
from a distance the faint sound of a police siren begins to grow louder. Randy:
Aha! Now we see the imperative of the state as keeper of the bourgeois status
quo! Very well, I shall “go away,” but only in the physical sense, as my
discourse has its own permanency. (As he walks down the street he mumbles to
himself:) Perhaps my goals are best reached through specific accommodation with
the bourgeois materialist culture. Stay
tuned for the next episode of the adventures of Randy Kamoo -- mall-kiosk
philosopher. Make Room for DaDa's Personal Ads Make Room for DaDa's Crossword Puzzle Make
Room for DaDa -- The Vaguery
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